“To be celebrated for who you are, not merely tolerated for what you do”
“It’s an amazing feeling to be truly celebrated for who you are, and not merely tolerated for what you do,” said Julie, one of our mastermind members.
Whoa, what a statement. My fellow members and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement. Julie had hit the nail on the head.
We were coming to the end of a three-month programme of mastermind meetings and were reflecting on what we had got out of the programme. Julie explained that, for her, it was stepping into and fully assuming her “Julie-ness.”
As she talked about how our support had helped her, something big hit home:
Being celebrated for who we are, not just tolerated for what we do, builds rich community and lets us be who we were always meant to be.
The thought was earth shattering. We’re often told it’s important to have a network in business, but how often do we hear about the need for community and its importance? For a place to be unafraid and welcomed for who we are, irrespective of all the achievements, accolades, and job titles?
You see, for a long time in my career, I saw “building a network” as the ultimate business goal. I counted my LinkedIn connections and tallied the number of business cards brought home from an event and took that as a measure of success. When I had a question or need about business, I knew, quantitatively, the number of people I could tap into.
I have never liked networking events; in fact, I would probably go so far as to say that I hate them. Put me on stage in front of hundreds of people and I come alive. But put me in a networking event where I don’t know anyone, and I become the wallflower looking at her watch and asking herself how long a polite length of time is to stay before I can head home. But we’re told we have to have a network and attend networking events, so I got over the fear and horror and got on with it.
However, when the going gets tough at work or home, or when things are really great and I want to celebrate, I don’t turn to this “network” of nearly 2000 contacts on LinkedIn. I turn to a much smaller group of people.
I turn to my community, a group made up of a small number of people who really see me, know and love me despite (and because of ) all my imperfections, the people who are there for me no matter what.
And, oh, how we need this type of community. When the bad days come and we barely want to get out of bed in the morning because life is tough and we are just so exhausted, we desperately need to have real community. One that lets us reach out and say, “Shit, this [fill in the blank] is hard, and I am finding it tough.” When we confess how we’re feeling and what we’re dealing with, these people don’t walk away. No. They let us know they are there to love and support us. That same community also allows us to celebrate on the great days. We say, “Whoot, whoot, I am queen of the world and seriously rocking this life!” Our community doesn’t begin to brag or compete, nor do they think, Who do you think you are? Don’t be so arrogant and full of it! No, they celebrate with us. Our success is their success, and their success is ours.
So, when Julie spoke, her comment about being celebrated resonated. Not because it meant being lauded up hill and down dale for something we might do, but because it meant being celebrated for who we were, are, and might yet be.
As we walk through life, we need to build a community where we can be ourselves and others can be themselves, too. This community gives us a sense of belonging we rarely find in the workplace. With it, we don’t have to fit into some corporate box; we can be our full, authentic selves. And trust me on this, this kind of community changes everything. We walk with co-champions, with people who believe in owning our strengths and making choices that allow us to succeed at work, home, and everywhere between.
What about you? Who are your people? Who has your back, and whose back do you have?